Buttons!

A post to Stefan.

Let's just say, you're obsessed!! No remote control, telephone, or device is safe. You see them from across the room, squeal and squirm in my arms until I reunite you with your button friend, and if they have lights, all the better. You usually get your thumb wrapped around one, and push it repeatedly while giggling. You, I, and Twilight Turtle have a fun time practicing "On, Off" before bed, which I think you'd do for hours if you didn't need sleep. You'd crawl across a couch a million miles long to get the remote from Dad. Hopefully you'll maintain that perseverance through life! PS Kelder Kat is not a button!

Do the best you can, there are no rules.

If you don't read this whole post, go down the end for my point in red, which is better than the argument.

Jong pisses me off. 
First of all, she rambles about the point she is making. I read the first half of the never ending post, needed to do something else, and made a comment to the friend that posted it, which basically went: "This lady's view sucks, that isn't what attachment parenting is all about, these ppl need to get off our backs. In general, people should lay off mothers, they will each have their own style and needn't anyone's criticism." I then found time to finish out the article. Low and behold, when I got to the end, Jong had the same point I did! So, no kudos for a well developed argument, IMO. Also more proof that we can all agree to disagree and get to the same outcome, and perhaps next time, not bash each other on the way there, please!

I'm constantly full of self doubt on what I do regarding Stefan. Just when I get comfortable enough to defend my own decisions, some silly, opinionated person goes and makes me question them. After all, Jong is a mother, and she has more experience than I, at this point. However, I thought her child raising views were a little old school for the current times. Then I realized in the rebuttal ( Rebuttal: DO read, this I agree with, and I'm not going further into points in my post because they are covered here),   Jong was old school, her children are my age (PS I'm not knocking the opinions of mothers who have children my age, see below, they are the source of my drive to be the best mom possible). What she believes was may be progressive for that time, but not now.  It puts her point of view into a whole new light, and made me realize that she needs to take a seat. Her criticisms, under the guise of opinions, are the same I get from many people of her generation. I'm not saying that it is wrong to have those opinions, but um...the point of the article is:

"We need to be released from guilt about our children, not further bound by it. We need someone to say: Do the best you can. There are no rules." 

(I wholeheartedly believe this!!!), and yet I feel guilt strewn all through out the article, as portions of my parenting style are clearly unacceptable in her opinion. Besides, though she claims parents like me are knocking women back in time regarding what the feminists have accomplished, I think that she in fact is knocking me back in time by criticizing my choice to be a mother, career woman, or both. Ultimately, learn how to debate, lady. I think she's more into stirring up the pot, anyway.

In my case, I want it all. I've never dreamed I'd give up a career, nor would I not try to give less than 110% attention to my child. Though I was "running the slow race" to having a baby (which is more like running from having a baby if you haven't heard the joke yet), I've always wanted children. I love them, love shaping them, observing their growth, inspiring them, and educating them. Having my own makes it so much more rewarding, words cannot profess how cool it all is. I could have assumed a bit of this, but I never knew to what extent I'd love motherhood. I don't feel like I'm compromising myself by giving my all to Stefan, even though that means changes in my career and lifestyle. Ultimately, I love all the challenges my parenting choices have brought, despite complaining ;). I don't feel attachment parenting is some sort of fad. In fact, people parented with attachment millions of years before parenting styles were even thought of. If they didn't, humans would have all been consumed by the lions, duh. I concede one point: It did (and does) take a village, though, I wish I had more of that in our lives, but we live in a different world.

Like I said, Jong's article was successful in stirring the pot, creating all sorts of conversation among my friends. The best point, I was told by coworkers while pregnant, and then again made in reference to Jong's article by an older woman friend of my lactation Goddess, Lisa, and ultimately the most important driving force in what I believe: My child is only young once. If I feel like it, I can safely put aside my career ambitions, ME-Time, hobbies, and home improvements for a few years and pick them back up again, but I'll never have this time with my child again. And there will be a time when I want it back, and for once in my life, I'm not going to have regrets about what I wish I had done. So thank you Cathy, Virginia, and random FB friend of Lisa, you've reminded me what keeps me going on those days when Stefan doesn't quit!

Great "first position" arms for dancing or conducting the Transiberian Octo-turtle Block Orchestra. All I know is you can always see the path of destruction everywhere from my little Tasmanian Devil!

Dear Abby...

We love you!!! Mommy checks in on your blog all the time, to read about you and see all your cute pictures.  Aunt Melissa has a lot of great stories and interesting posts, too. We miss you and can't wait for Turkey Day so we can hang out and play!!

This Ale's for you, Cousin!

The Evolution of Stefan Man

Bipedal Movement...Check!

Modern humans are unique in the primate world because of their bipedal movement. That is, they walk on two feet instead of four. The earliest known primates to walk on two feet were Ardipithecus and Australopithecus, who lived anytime between 3.0 and 3.9 million years ago. These species often lived on the fringes of forested areas, gradually moving closer to the wide open grassland plains of Africa. These early hominids will eventually evolve into the modern Homo sapien, or humans. (I hate merely cut and pasting, but in the effort of time, I've gone and done it from an easy to understand location. From Link.)

Note: Stefan started out sitting on the mat playing as he does every morning while I cook breakfast/clean the kitchen. I turned my back to rinse the french press and viola! OK, he didn't WALK there, in this particular picture, as he needs to hold on to things (well Mom, Dad, or the bathtub are the walking assistants in his mind), but I'm impressed with the locomotion. At this point, it happens only occasionally, so it's a pleasant surprise when he's not where I've left him!

Use of Tools...Check!

Using tools has been interpreted as a sign of intelligence, and it has been theorized that tool use may have stimulated certain aspects of human evolution—most notably the continued expansion of the human brain. [I LOVE the brain!]

Paleontology has yet to explain the expansion of this organ over millions of years despite being extremely demanding in terms of energy consumption. The brain of a modern human consumes about 20 watts (400 kilocalories per day), which is one fifth of the energy consumption of a human body. Increased tool use would allow hunting for energy-rich meat products, and would enable processing more energy-rich plant products. Researchers have suggested that early hominids were thus under evolutionary pressure to increase their capacity to create and use tools.^{[51] 
(A little more dense reading at Wikipedia.)}

^{So you have to imagine the actions, but Stefan is using the remote control to pet the cat (one day, I will figure out how to link to video, maybe depending on privacy of sites involved). Poor kitty! He only made contact once, and it was really gentle! We're giving Stefan a hockey stick ASAP...he LOVES using things to do things. Spoons fly cheerios around the table and ultimately onto the floor. Sticks are perfect for outside poking. Cords are just stiff enough to reach and pull off limits coffee table items. So now the radius of Stefan has grown to include what ever grabbing tool he has. OH YEAH..DUH! He now can feed himself (or me) with a spoon, with assistance. Dad took some time off of work to breakfast with us while Stefan ate oatmeal...THE second awesome thing of the morning!! He didn't spit out the solid chunks of food...so psyched! I love when things suddenly click:).}

Dead-ends and Extinct Evolutionary Branches...check!

This one I can paraphrase. Humans are the end of the chain, and we've broken Stefan's mold! I love the little booger, but 2 of exactly him...let's save that for Wonder Woman. Mom, I've got a kid like me (so far). I guess that isn't saying much at 11 months, not like I expect him to keep it clean around here, but he is such a tornado! It's obvious where his play places are in every room from the shredded papers, toys askew, and general chaos. So much so that I'm bothered by the entropy. Although he prefers playing with one toy, the rest of them are strewn about the room after he's "cleared" them out of his way, so he can play with that one specific toy he's in the mood for.

Thoughts for your day

Two for today...

"And forget no that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."  

~Kahlil Gibram

"If my heart can become pure and simple like that of a child, I think there probably can be no greater happiness than this."

~Kitaro Nishida

PS My on going obsession with bare feet is a Kindermusik "thing". "Barefoot is Best" is the motto. Baby learns so much about the world through touch (what they touch and when we touch them...there's my other obsession: intentional touch!) the skin on the bottoms of the feet is especially sensitive, providing lots of sensory input. Stefan enjoys trying to use his feet as hands in addition to his new found skill, kicking and stepping on things. Watch out Pele!!

Doors

A poem for Stefan, who leaves no door unopened, literally.

Doors are a wondrous thing,

open and close,

enjoy their swing.

some move fast,

others are slow,

push pull,

for hours you go.

You care not what they hide

but only that they are open wide...

and closed...

opened...

closed...

opened...

closed....

opened... closed...open...closed...

Strings and Dangly things

There are certain things we cannot pass by without touching. Ever since we showed you the light/ceiling fan strings and the chimes, you've had an obsession. Honestly, you're quite lucky Mommy & Daddy will overhead press you up to the strings and patiently hold you there while you pull. *Which leads to the kinda cool part...babies need time to process and I can watch this in you. I can see the wheels turning in your head...seeing the string, telling your hand to reach, fine motor skills to open and grasp, gross motor pulling, and the emotional response of success!*

I love how you look for fans, light up when you see them, and become entranced watching them. Then the strings come into view. I've realized your temper tantrums aren't hatred for the changing table. They are frustration that we didn't first play with the fan cord. It's really helped Mom's ears to figure this out!

Kitchen chimes are the other fun one. If you didn't aggressively whip the clacker around, I'd let you play with them all the time. Until "gentle" has meaning, we'll have to satisfy you only with a quick touch. That is, until your fine motor skills catch up and start moving quicker than Mom can move them out of your grasp!