If you don't read this whole post, go down the end for my point in red, which is better than the argument.
Jong pisses me off.
First of all, she rambles about the point she is making. I read the first half of the never ending post, needed to do something else, and made a comment to the friend that posted it, which basically went: "This lady's view sucks, that isn't what attachment parenting is all about, these ppl need to get off our backs. In general, people should lay off mothers, they will each have their own style and needn't anyone's criticism." I then found time to finish out the article. Low and behold, when I got to the end, Jong had the same point I did! So, no kudos for a well developed argument, IMO. Also more proof that we can all agree to disagree and get to the same outcome, and perhaps next time, not bash each other on the way there, please!
I'm constantly full of self doubt on what I do regarding Stefan. Just when I get comfortable enough to defend my own decisions, some silly, opinionated person goes and makes me question them. After all, Jong is a mother, and she has more experience than I, at this point. However, I thought her child raising views were a little old school for the current times. Then I realized in the rebuttal (
Rebuttal: DO read, this I agree with, and I'm not going further into points in my post because they are covered here), Jong
was old school, her children are
my age (PS I'm not knocking the opinions of mothers who have children my age, see below, they are the source of my drive to be the best mom possible). What she believes was may be progressive for
that time, but not now. It puts her point of view into a whole new light, and made me realize that she needs to take a seat. Her criticisms, under the guise of opinions, are the same I get from many people of her generation. I'm not saying that it is wrong to have those opinions, but um...the point of the article is:
"We need to be released from guilt about our children, not further bound by it. We need someone to say: Do the best you can. There are no rules."
(I wholeheartedly believe this!!!), and yet I feel guilt strewn all through out the article, as portions of my parenting style are clearly unacceptable in her opinion. Besides, though she claims parents like me are knocking women back in time regarding what the feminists have accomplished, I think that she in fact is knocking
me back in time by criticizing my choice to be a mother, career woman, or both. Ultimately, learn how to debate, lady. I think she's more into stirring up the pot, anyway.
In my case, I want it all. I've never dreamed I'd give up a career, nor would I not try to give less than 110% attention to my child. Though I was "running the slow race" to having a baby (which is more like running from having a baby if you haven't heard the joke yet), I've always wanted children. I love them, love shaping them, observing their growth, inspiring them, and educating them. Having my own makes it so much more rewarding, words cannot profess how cool it all is. I could have assumed a bit of this, but I never knew to what extent I'd love motherhood. I don't feel like I'm compromising myself by giving my all to Stefan, even though that means changes in my career and lifestyle. Ultimately, I love all the challenges my parenting choices have brought, despite complaining ;). I don't feel attachment parenting is some sort of fad. In fact, people parented with attachment millions of years before parenting styles were even thought of. If they didn't, humans would have all been consumed by the lions, duh. I concede one point: It did (and does) take a village, though, I wish I had more of that in our lives, but we live in a different world.
Like I said, Jong's article was successful in stirring the pot, creating all sorts of conversation among my friends. The best point, I was told by coworkers while pregnant, and then again made in reference to Jong's article by an older woman friend of my lactation Goddess, Lisa, and ultimately the most important driving force in what I believe:
My child is only young once. If I feel like it, I can safely put aside my career ambitions, ME-Time, hobbies, and home improvements for a few years and pick them back up again, but I'll never have this time with my child again. And there will be a time when I want it back, and for once in my life, I'm not going to have regrets about what I wish I had done. So thank you Cathy, Virginia, and random FB friend of Lisa, you've reminded me what keeps me going on those days when Stefan doesn't quit!
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| Great "first position" arms for dancing or conducting the Transiberian Octo-turtle Block Orchestra. All I know is you can always see the path of destruction everywhere from my little Tasmanian Devil! |
