Nine Months

Hello, I'm 9 months today!

"Your baby now loves to play games. He'd rather not go to sleep. And he loves to practice "walking" while holding on to a steady yet movable object (like a laundry basket)! Your 9-month-old is starting to have "a mind of his own." Isn't it wonderful to see your child seeking some independence?"

It seems like it should be more of a milestone, in my head at least. I guess waiting all those months for that nine month deadline (that he missed) is why I feel like this is more momentous than it actually is. Though I guess most momentous birthdays one feels just the same as they did the day before.

I apologize if this is a repeat, it's my blog and my reminiscing though, deal with it;)

I think back nine months from today (loosely). We had eaten out at all our favorite restaurants repeatedly, since "this may be the last time we can eat at ____ for a while". Bags were packed (3 weeks earlier!- no I lie, I'm never that prepared. They had been packed a few days though and I kept finding more stuff to put in them, so It's good he got out when he did!) On December 15th, I was really wishing he was coming out. The house had been cleaned 10 times over (once each day that he was late), I was in day 3 of disorganized labor thinking how unfair it was to give us 3 days of no sleep right before the most work in my life and before we were to embark on months or years of bad sleep. Labor aside, I was so impatient to meet Stefan, who was virtually nameless at that point. "Friedrich" was at the top of the list, so if all else failed, at least we had something to call him...but what if he wasn't a him at all? I'd have been really irked to have to return all those blue clothes! Not that I'm down with gender specific colors and having to have a girl in pink (although all I had was blue and that isn't fair). I could feel the annoyance in explaining why the blue clothed baby wasn't a boy, and hoped the Dr. wasn't incorrect, as his colleague suggested he tended to be.

I was very wrapped up in having MY perfect labor. That included soft music, a hot tub, lots of patience and support, no cutting, cuddling with a bloody baby seconds after birth. In true Lisa fashion, I left my birth plan and months of research at home on the coffee table (despite having 3 chances to pack it, as I kept getting sent home). Monday night, day 2 of disorganized labor, I was crying on the bathroom floor, telling Sean about how much I didn't want a C-section. Sean assured me the boy was coming out one way or the other, we'd just have to do what ever was best for him, and with the way things were going, it may be a reality. For some reason, despite my revolt at Cesarean, I kind of came to peace with the whole process, though saying, "Everything will work out the way we want." , and I put it out of my head (most likely to endure a 7 minute contraction to nowhere). I think that is why when the Doc. said we need to do a C-section, I easily caved...that and the lack of a baby heart beat convinced me enough. I don't know if something could have been done to stop his distress and get his head out. I had read some miraculous stories about a midwife who did some amazing things. I think if I was with her, Stefan would have come out fine, naturally. I'd like to think that my Dr's weren't trying to make a buck or get things moving any faster for themselves. Ultimately, after 4 days, by any means necessary was more of my motto, come to think of it.

The days in the hospital were weird...lots of sitting, I was SO tired, and every three seconds someone was bursting into the room for some reason, I was getting so aggravated. I couldn't get home soon enough. When I arrived, in the bitter 20 degrees, it was very surreal. My neighbor saw me from her window, a L&D nurse on her 9th year of maternity leave (she's with her 4 children ages 11 mo.-about 9 years), recognized the "C-section walk". I put Stefan down on the dining room table while I cleaned the big, stinky mess the cats made and gave them some food and I kind of forgot he was even there. He gave a bit of a cry and the cats went FLYING! It was great! And -oh yeah, I have a baby! To back Melissa up, in the first few months, I often forgot I had a baby...like in the midst of him sleeping all day, once I got on my feet and was into doing something. I'd hear him cry and realize I had forgotten I had even had a baby. Percocet is some good stuff;) Kidding. It kept happening whenever I really got into what I was doing, and wasn't drug related:) Compared to now, when I can't wait to escape the baby while he naps. However, by the end of a couple of hours, I'm ready to go wake him up and play because I miss him.

And 9 months before 10/16...I was trying to extend my life by working a double life with 5 different jobs in as many different locations. I taught at 5 schools in 4 days and repaired in all the other down time, children's music classes, private lessons, playing flute for weddings and in a community band... all in multiple locations down Rte. 8 all the way to the shore and over to Farmington. So much commuting, so many different hats to wear. Whew...life is SOOOO much calmer now!

So, will I do all this baby stuff again? Not today! Not tomorrow...hopefully not for a while. Being pregnant was fun for a couple of months in the 2nd trimester and infancy is not as exciting as I thought it would be, but certainly not uneventful. Someday, it would be nice for Stefan to have a little sister...or brother. Right now, we're just regaining our sanity...Stefan doesn't cry our ears off, Dad can baby sit more comfortably, and we're getting things down. It is nice to revel and enjoy the giggles of the little monster and give him all my attention; and it's nice to get things calm enough to where I can work better. Most of all, I bet he appreciates not having to share mom!