April Thus Far

Another picture story of some stuff Stef's been up to. We have no shots of the past absolutely amazing days because I never remember to have a camera handy, and it's more fun to actually play then it is to recreate photos that look like play. Anyway, these are some inside shots. Like how he's fallen in love with the piano.

Luckily we have more than one, he loves both. If I leave my office door open, he's guaranteed to be at one, usually playing along with the demonstration music. He's great about pushing one note at a time, though he has some nice cluster chords as well.

"Dickory, dickory, dare,

the pig flew up in the air.

The man in brown soon pulled him down,

Dickory, dickory, dare!"

This Kindermusik favorite has Stefan-created hand movements, which is throwing his hands up in the air. Then moving them to his sides, way down low. If he's really excited (or rather, not lazy), he'll do two hands in the air.

Some new changing table art he's really diggin'.

"One humming bird hummmmmmmmmmmms...

one, two pa-ra-keets....

3 penguins, 1-2-3, Daddy, Mommy, and Ba-by!"

I thought it was time. He rakes die well. The Roulette wheel takes didn't come out very clear. He was more interested in disassembling it and finding the uber-pointy screw thing under the wheel. That's when I lost interest in teaching him the dealings of the gaming underworld.

 "Who is Keyser Soze? He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone."~Verbals

Communication update

Aside from all the non-traditional communication I've come to understand, he has a few signs and words. For verbal, he finally requests "Mom" and "Dad". He is almost saying a clear "All Done". OK that list is short. "Eh" is "yes" still (he understands "question" inflection and will answer "eh" questions asked on TV or CD's). Occasionally I hear an "n" sounding word where he should say "no", but I think that is a stretch. His head turning and eye closing is more effective. He makes a squeaky whine to indicate he wants something (ie a spoonful of tofu with one bite of soup, then he'll request just broth the next, seaweed for the following bite, etc). His babble is really entertaining, with a lot of different sounds.

Onto "non-verbal". He still signs "milk", I hate to see that one, and usually ignore it. He clearly signs "more", "all done", and "up". He watches intently with new signs, but I don't use much with regularity/frequency (Ball, Bacon, and potato are in the works) His own language includes tummy pointing for hungry (and he's always hungry!), pushing objects away for all done. He points clearly to things he wants, which he will spot from across the room and we play hot and cold to find them (again with the squeaky whine). He understands what containers have certain foods and accurately will request what he wants to eat.

He understands a whole slew of things. I can ask, "What do you want to eat?" and he'll answer appropriately. He understands that he needs to wait, if I explain that we are going to do X first and Y second (I think), and he continues to respect when I tell him to "leave it alone"  or "be careful". He understands when I ask him to "close" something, turn things "on/off", or to hold an object and give it to Dad (or put it somewhere). In fact, he understands a heck of a lot more that I can't think of off the top of my head. I explain every thing to him all the time, and it seems to quell whining or expectations that he has, so I assume he's getting it. I have to say Kindermusik and our current theme of nursery rhymes (which I love), realy has gotten a lot of language in there. Like when I say "up in the air, way down low" he'll move his hands up and down appropriately. He knows the little piggy toe-play and shoves his feet at me on the changing table.

Finally he has waving down well. He has it reserved for a few people he really cares about, so not everyone gets a wave. I think I mentioned it before, he's not one to mince words!

What we're up to: Pictoral Version

Hello, Mom? Hi, how ya doin'? I found this great phone...ya it just looks like a mouse. The reception is crystal clear! Listen, meet me at the toy box, pronto!

I'll wait for you by the door...we'll play some peek-a-boo!

Awe, Mom, this is my favorite "seat". But enough hugs, the toy box awaits!

Finally, time to get my play on!! Hey Mom, wanna hang in the box with me? Get Dad, we can all fit!

Weaned

Well, our second attempt at weaning went much better than the first, which ended after 1 day. We went cold turkey, for a variety of reasons. Basically, he was pissed. I held him and still am, a lot, a lot, a lot. Everyday he's gotten less clingy over it, every day he's become more accepting when I say there are no more "Milkies". He's stopped signing for it, or laying himself down and digging under my shirts, but I still catch him looking or patting on my chest, the precursor to the former 2 behaviors. At night, it takes a simple rocking to get him to forget he's hungry...gees, I didn't even notice that he slept through the night with out waking once last night!

I thought the physical pain would go on longer than it did. I had a convenient cold, so the decongestants helped. I was mildly hormonal, I think. It could have just been mommy guilt, but I have less of the feeling now than I did last week, so I'm thinking it was hormones. We've had an absolutely crazy week, so I think being distracted by that has helped as well. The 2nd night in, we ordered pizza, and the 3rd included fish fry, both containing dairy, so nursing was out anyway. I think if I hadn't done that, I probably would have caved, especially with the night feedings, and the early morning ones. 

I miss it to some extent, and still wish it could continue, like I said, at night or in the early mornings when it's convenient, but babies aren't conveniences;), and I have to follow his rules. The whole bonding thing I miss too, but we have other ways to accomplish that. He's growing more already, on solids, 6.5 oz. in a week! woot! 

Success?

Rough day...I'm sitting here, finally not listening to a screaming baby after trying to get him to nap for the past hour or 2. I've lost count. After I crammed in a trip to the grocery store, the impossible destination, fed him twice, nursed him twice, rocked him twice, remade the changing table twice, and reminded him for the 4th time that it is indeed nap time...well, I'm just not feeling successful today. I did get to put in 5 minutes toward instrument repair. Woot.

This has been the story of my life for...um I can't remember. Minus the tricky naps, he's usually better. However leaving the house to do anything is becoming an activity of the past. He's hungry about every 1/2 hour, or cranky, or deciding to take a nap about when I thought we were going out the door. Between naps and feeding, I'm losing my mind. Perhaps I'll find it on Spring Cleaning weekend (gonna be a fun time out here in T-town for the next couple of days, folks!). Or maybe the general contractor I've been trying to call for the past two weeks knows where my mind has gone!

So at the end of the day, when all is said and done, how do I measure success? It used to be in work accomplished, students taught, new things learned. I suppose it's much the same, but work isn't instruments repaired or lessons taught. Though I learn daily, it isn't going to earn me any new degree. My measurement success has transformed. It's loads of laundry and dishes done, groceries bought, and meals made. It is in how easily the baby ate food (ie I didn't have to prepare 8 lunches before I found something he'd actually eat more than a a taste of), took a nap, or played/cooperated while I tried to accomplish something else. Some days it is in what Stefan learned to do or how many hugs I received through the day. I hope soon it will be in hours I could practice, time spent reading, and projects around the house accomplished.

So how do you measure success? Dollars earned/saved? Time with loved ones? Tasks accomplished? Amount of education you received? The car you drive or phone you own? Lives you've touched? Something completely different?

Outside My Box

I pride myself on thinking outside the box...between Sean and I, we can usually solve most anything. He's the voice of reason and logic, I'm the voice of trying something completely off the wall that just might work. This post isn't so outside the box, but enough away from the usual morning routine that I had some fun with it. Enough about us.

The other morning, instead of deterring Monster from the toy we seemed to have purchased unwittingly, the dishwasher, I let him have at it. I closed up the soap flippy soap door, the best part of the toy, and emptied all but his spoons. I put out the spoon holder and went on to happily do other kitchen stuff without having to locate the baby, as he's typically a free range baby most of the time. I'd say, generously, I had a whole 15 minutes to accomplish anything I wanted, in the confines of the kitchen. ...wow never thought I'd be pleased to make that statement.

 Spoons went in, spoons went out, over and under. Spoons needed a rewash, but Baby was happy and that is all I live for these days:). Regardless, I love watching him play and learn. I can't wait for him to be able to tell us what is going on in that little head of his!

Nom Noms: Oatmeal banana, Berry banana

I'm watching Stefan drink from his straw cup...on his own...filled with water. I can't believe it (note: no breastmilk or breast involved!! I'm so psyched!)

There are a lot of reasons why toddlers might not indulge in food readily...flavor, temperature, texture, color, their plate is too round, the floor makes a better surface for viewing food. Not to worry, what is scarfed down one day might be shunned and relegated to the linoleum the next. I'll be posting up some recipes that have either appeased him at least one day, or are appetizing enough for me to eat.

I've found gerber food to be...pretty nasty. My cardinal rule of feeding is that I don't expect him to eat anything I wouldn't want to eat. If he wants to eat something I wouldn't, it's up to him. I finally bought store made baby food in desperation - he wasn't eating my food regularly, some days I just don't have baby-appropriate food readily available and I am too lazy to whip something up. Gerber mangoes...eh, OK. I'd eat them. If I was REALLY hungry. Veggie mixes....barf. So bland and nasty. So I'm getting into making more purees, against the BLW practice. Food was fun until age one, now it needs to also provide sustenance. Don't get me wrong, I let him go silly experiencing food all the time, just he is eating more purees.

>>>...and a big thank you to Stefan, who has dug the computer charger plug out of the knitting pile and is now trying to plug it into this computer. My little tech-head.<<<

Today is banana day because we have been working on eating one for a day or so now. Since he wasn't into actual pieces, it's becoming other things.

Oatmeal Banana
Instant oatmeal+smoshed banana= Love
 (OK, = smoosh all over the baby, table and floor.) I appreciated that though he didn't consume more than a taste, that at least he tasted it, and then had some tactile experience smooshing it up.

Banana Berry
In a blender, add 1 part mixed berries to 1 banana. Puree.
When made from frozen, it makes great ice cream (for everyone!), when slightly warmed, it makes a yummy heated snack. It tastes 1,000 times better than gerber.

Rock like a Party Star!

Wish I could have muted my commentary...getting used to YouTube interface. I hate new interfaces!

Silver Linings

It's been busy here, hence the no posting. I have about 6 drafts of stuff, most of which will be deleted because they are no longer relevant. I am still not used to that...everything changes pretty much weekly. The text I just deleted from the original "Hump day" (now renamed "Silver Linings"), was a blurb about Monster's first days care center experience, where he was going to stay while I taught at the center. That only happened for a week...which led to him slung up on my hip for the next week, and now this week it was sitter time, and next week it is a whole other arrangement (fortunately the final one, we need consistency!).

The last written post was Weaning, and now that's done. I'd like to brag that he's weaned in a week, muh haha ha! Kidding...I'm done with weaning. It wasn't working out and my gut says "no". Over any book or advice from whoever, I have come to trust my gut the most. The unpublished draft before weaning, was all about his sudden love of solids, which is out the door this week. I love that "This too shall pass", but not in regards to the positive changes.

After a long spell of waking at 7 am, (from the preferred wake time of 9ish) he's again sleeping in. Unfortunately, I'm not. We're all laid up with some mucousy sickness and after popping up for an early feeding, I couldn't get myself back to sleep, although it is much needed. I guess I get to have blog time, but then again, I wonder who is actually reading, besides Melissa and some spammer in China. All I know is that the quick and easy version of putting him down at night is over for now, usually it's followed by catching up on work or house cleaning that didn't get done all day, and the nights have gotten long and tiring, so I must enjoy the early morning calm now.

While he was growing more independent, he's back on my hip a heck of a lot these days. My left arm is seriously protesting the ongoing 20 lb Monster work out. Fortunately it worked up to 20lb. slowly over the past year, right? Silver linings...trying to find them! Although, a comment on this...Dr. Sear's remarked on how it was interesting children developed clingy behavior relative to becoming mobile. This suggests that mother nature kind of has a system of checks and balances for her little ones, making them  weary of wandering off once they are able to actually do so. It's the best way to appreciate the cling, IMO.

 I see this checks and balances system pop up a lot...Stefan has a way of avoiding dairy when I haven't caught it in food  plus his extended nursing leads me to believe his body "knows" what he needs. He still has a strong gag reflex and a tongue that just won't cooperate, but very few teeth,  making solids a challenge. I wonder if more teeth prompts the gag reflex and tongue action to leave. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one.

Now, just a blurb on recent things he does, for my baby journal part of this blog. I suppose it should be a separate post, but if I don't get this all accomplished in one entry, I don't think it will get done in the near future. I've already forgotten major details I never thought I would, like we we started Stefan in the crib full time...I thought it was 6 months yesterday, on more careful consideration, I think it was 11-12 months. Anyway...

...He's just started to figure that he can climb. Watching him attack stairs is absurd, since he just throws his foot up on them with a straight leg, usually at a precarious angle, not possible for any one to take on stairs without mommy hands to hold on to. His second climbing feat: the child's rocking chair. "Dear Stefan, please pick something with a stable base! Love, Mommy" I couldn't get my camera on quick enough before he realized what I was doing. He looked like a ballet dancer with his leg out stretching on the chair. He refuses to walk without assistance, still ever cautious, but I heard I was the same way.

He's become a lot more communicative, though I think I'm the only one who understands him. Then I feel like I'm crazy when I tell Sean what the baby is "saying" and Sean thinks I'm putting words in his mouth. I'll happily continue with my delusion, since I'm with him practically 24/7 and Sean, nor anyone else who thinks I'm crazy, isn't. So he stops whining when I guess what he wants. He knows all about his teeth, hungry belly, mommy milk, diaper,  random objects (he has a fixation on the phone, blinking lights and buttons and knows where each and everyone is around the house), and occasionally he throws in pointing to his head. [I wonder if he has migraines like me, :( .] He almost says "yes" and he says, "hello" when the phone rings. When I sing little phrases, he mimics the pitches sometimes.

He's become more aggressive with the cat, poking at him a lot more, pulling his tail and legs, pushing him off of things when he doesn't want him there or when he thinks the cat should take a sip from the tub faucet. The cat only drinks from the tub faucet, it's just that Stefan makes the kitty get into the tub more efficiently.

He's become more opinionated, arguing with me when I take things away, and then throwing a fit. Bring on the toddlerhood! I've come to terms with his baby toys being fun for only a day or two, especially when bottle openers abound. They are much more interesting and usually metal, which sounds better when it's smashed on the coffee table. Speaking of smashing, I've showed him how to play the drums! I don't know what I was thinking, but he holds the sticks and taps on my drum pad, and does this all on his own now. He has even learned to throw the sticks like a true Rocker. Check the video I've posted.

Final tidbit: He LOVES Miso! And tofu. And some seaweed. Onion is the other favorite. Luckily Miso soup contains them all. We now order him his own bowl when we have sushi takeout. I was sick of him eating all of mine! If he isn't constantly presented with a full spoon, he throws a fit.

So that is all I can recollect right now. The squawker is up anyway...

Weey Weaning: Day 1.5

So this post starts my weaning project. After reading some stuff and trusting my gut on how to go about this (but no contacting my lactation guru, Lisa, so I may be throwing this plan out the door), I've decided to start wean the monster. I actually started last night, since Stefan has been having some great luck with solid foods lately. I wrote a post on that, but I'm pretty sure I was waiting to attach a picture...I'll pop that one up too.

I nurse "on demand" so when I read that the best thing to do is start by dropping one feeding, well...it just doesn't work like that here. In one hour, especially at night, he may be "demanding" to be fed every 20 minutes...just a sip, but a feeding nonetheless. So I've decided to tackle habitual feeding times; right after solid feedings and right after waking from daytime naps, and hopefully soon, pre-sleep nursing. I'm trying to get him to drink other milk, or if that is refused, juice or water. He needs calories, so I'm not restricting them by limiting juice, etc. Yesterday we had some epic tantrums when I left off post nap nursing. After a noisy while,  he decided he'd be up for tortillas and puffs with a side of Silk (bleh). Luckily Sean's video games kind of distracted him while I sat next to him and Sean and I ignored him until it all blew over. Today, I was more successful with putting off the post breakfast feeding while I gave him a cooking lesson on how to prep for squash soup. He's keen on puffs and cheerios, which he snacked on last week in place of nursing, which was so exciting to be able to teach and not have to leave the room in the middle of everything to satisfy the crank pants.

I've fallen back into the habit of nursing him to sleep, since it was just easier then propping myself up on the bars of his crib and rubbing his back, the circulation being cut off of my arms and hands. Plus he was teething (first year molar), so it was just working all around better; because snuggling in a rocking chair while I doze  to lullabies is much more pleasing than dangling cribside. Anyway, I was able to get him to sleep in 2 songs this morning, so it worked out fine.

Once the nursing isn't associated with sleep or post solid eating, I will work to start refusing him all together except for feedings I want to keep (ie the ones that relieve my body and nourish him through the night or first thing in the morning). So far, it is seeming like it is going to be very hard for him to break and harder for me to say no. How can I turn down my begging 1-year old, with his down turned frown and tragically sad eyes,  from the one thing that has offered him comfort for his whole 1 year life? Despite totally rearranging my diet and lifestyle (I'll put it out there that this food elimination/allergy runs that deep), I'm still not annoyed enough to toss breastfeeding out the window.

I Have A Headache This Big, And It Has Stefan Written All Over It!

I spent most of this snow day in bed...slightly maddening. I didn't have anything to do, we've had so many snow days that I've caught up on everything pertinent. I'm slightly sick of having pain (yesterday my back/shoulder, today my head). After downing all the asprin/Excedrin I deemed safe, I hopped back into bed with a baby raring to go for the morning.

"How can I meaningfully entertain him and manage a migraine that had me in tears?" I wondered.

We started slow, working with resources at hand...blankets for "peek-a-boo", pillows to fall into, tissues to rip and "snow" (yes, we've all been battling colds on top of everything, two boxes of Kleenex ready to tear!). This was all great until he started exploring and crawling to the edge of the bed. Tortoises know when to stop, so as to not plummet, Stefan does not.

Into bed came the bath toys: foamy things and balls. The toys from their bright red lady bug container, taken out, put back in, taken out, back in, out, in, out...all over the bed...it never ends with "in", does it? I decorated him, he decorated me, we laughed and giggled. His giggle is way too contagious, so I started giggling more. Some baby rough housing thrown in for good measure. A few moments into our play, and I was feeling better already. Maybe it was the drugs, but honestly, they hadn't been digested. Some good old fashioned silliness took the edge off my searing headache.

It didn't cure anything, Stefan had a 2 hour nap buddy later in the afternoon, and only now at 5:00 pm (with taking more drugs and having a PB and Tahini sammich) am I able to comfortably sit in front of this lit computer, or in any light at all. The whole day could have been a bust, but it wasn't. I am so happy I've gotten to do what I've intended by not returning to work full time: Spend lots of time with my cool little guy.

PS Last night's/today's cool things included telling Stefan where the cat's ears were and having him point to his ears without prompting, knocking on Dad's door for visits at work, "calling" the birds to come get bread crumbs:  he was copying my inflection saying "here birdies" and doing a "kissing" sound like I was using to call them; feeding himself soup and apple sauce!

Flu Shot Failure

When I received the card urging me to get a flu shot for Stefan, I weighed the pros and cons, and though I didn't want him to get it necessarily, I ended up making an appointment. I never get them, work with children daily and have never had the flu, but insurance was covering it, and I really wouldn't want my son to be sick, right? As it turned out, I had to cancel the appointment for some reason, and in the meantime had opted not to reschedule. I didn't give the whole thing much of a thought until our Pedi visit yesterday. It came up with the nurse that he hadn't had one, and she was strongly urging me to give him one, since she has them yearly (who knows how that is justification, but whatever). I still didn't want him to have it really. After a very brief discussion with the Doc, it turns out we were very lucky to not have given him one.

For all of you out there managing an egg allergy: Flu shots contain egg!

Despite how I felt the day I realized he was allergic to certain egg proteins when prepared a certain way, I'm so glad I didn't find it out through the flu shot.

As for the 1 year check up, a month late, Stefan is 19lb (I can't remember the ounces) and 29.5 inches. Otherwise healthy. Woot. Well, except for a cold and the allergies :(. On the bright side, I've been having lots of cuddle time with the little booger and fortunately a ton of snow days and not much repair to be able to accommodate all the snuggles.

Catch!

Dear Stefan,
On this frigid Monday morning, we had a great game of catch. Our first game that lasted for quite some time and actually involved the ball relaying between the two of us. You would only play this with the rattle balls, of course. The silent tennis ball isn't nearly as exciting. The game evolved into you chasing the balls around the room, and finished up on the little rocking chair. Later this week, you'll play catch with Kelder, too.

I've been so proud of a ton of little cool things you've done recently. I don't think I can remember them all right now, though. We had a great conversation in the car on the way home from Choir School. It's nice to have someone to talk to on that hour ride...even if it is only screams and babbles we share. Every so often I told you to find Jingle Pontuse (the very first toy you ever played with, attached to your seats), and you shook him around.

You've learned to pet the cat so gently and now have been playing with him a little. Both of you like the same toys (pencils, nerf darts, and ribbons...well pretty much every toy can go baby or cat). He's so gentle with you, he's become a mini mommy's helper, entertaining you while I try to get things done. Both of you love rubbing heads together, and you try to follow the cats where ever they go.

You've become a great listener heeding my warnings not to do certain things. I can't get over this...you listen better than many of the middle school students I've taught. You know to leave the "yuckies" around the house alone, despite wanting to taste them.When I tell you to be careful, you cautiously continue what you were doing. Sometimes, when I call for you to come back in to a room, you do!

I love that you devoured curry the other night, with a spoon, and more than ever made it into your mouth. Now if we could get you that excited over the other food you eat...tacos have lost favor, oranges are still pretty great and grapes too, but you're more into their juice then their flesh. Oh and for the first time, you grabbed a cup of water and drank it, without Mom helping to tip it up and hold it steady!

You're so gentle with turning pages of your story books. You've started to point you fingers at the words, swirling it around the paragraphs while I read the other page. And you're becoming much more patient with the long winded books we've been reading. Curling up in a blanket in the rocking chair with you and a book is the perfect way to spend these snowy days.

All about the house, there are so many fun things to point at. Once only the fun strings, chimes, or switches demanded a finger. Now you understand when I ask what you want and point to whatever it is. You're "no" eyes are appreciated too. It is so nice to be able to communicate with you and not have to assume everything all the time. I wonder if all the fabulous babble stories mean anything in Stefanese, and what is this new word "ying" you have?

Morning calf raises at the tub side make me grin. You pop right up on your tip toes. Someday, when dad's out, I'll teach you some ballet moves, but that'll be our secret;). Finally, you've been relinquishing one hand as we stroll about the house, but only when you're in a good mood. You walked this way with Dad today, and then you started kicking a couple of rattle balls around as you went.

Some people may look at a baby and think it's just a dull lump. Some people have told me that it's no use to communicate with a baby under 3 (OK it was a bit of a strange bachelor person that made that obviously erroneous remark). But I can, and do, sit and watch all the little things you do all day, fascinated that only a year ago, you couldn't even hold your head up, 6 months ago, you couldn't sit, barely three months ago you couldn't crawl, and only recently have you started saying Mom and Dad with meaning and consistency. I can't wait to see what happens next!!

Love,
Mom

1 Year

My biggest problem with not having time to get on here is all the little things you've been doing, that have been so cool to catch you doing, that I forget by the time I can get to a computer. Lets see if I can remember any, and hopefully I'll be better about getting these here.
At one year you...
are blooming a great little personality,
babble "dad" a LOT...and I caught you once babbling "mom" without crying or wanting milk, too!
are more independent than ever,
find all sorts of ways to play with all sorts of things, like, right now: pens and glue sticks (why do we bother with flashy toys?),
scribble,
love walking,
could crawl across CT if I let you,
love finding Daddy when I tell you...OK not that hard, we all know he's in front of the computer 22/07
love the cats, especially when they are involved in your crib, really love Sabrina, as she tries never to be involved with you,
refuse to brush your 6 teeth, though you used to love it,
insist on feeding yourself with our spoons, regardless of what actually makes it into your mouth,
have started eating dry foods more, and trying more solids recently,
love flipping the pages of your book, so gently as to not rip them, and watch my fingers point to the words I read you,
try to figure out every button, screw, random hole, and door on every little thing,
put toys "in"(!!!!!), with more regularity!!
wave "bye,bye" every so often,
have marvelous conversations with your hands (though that has been going on for a few months now),
have marvelous babble conversations with me:) you're going to be such a great talker!
point to what you want, and you want a lot, apparently,
added "r, s" to the "L,d,m" list of consonants, and long "i and e" to the "a, o" list of vowels,
Love hanging with Dad, especially when he walks all around with you.
...and I suppose that is all I can think of now, besides, it's time to play!!

Now is the perfect time!

Have you ever waited for the perfect time to do "x"...and waited...and waited...I've been waiting almost a month for that perfect time to sit here and expound on our oh so ordinary life, that muddles my brain so much each day, that I never have 30 minutes to sit here and expound on anything at all. That's OK, reading a book (I have a dozen waiting patiently) has been waiting since the spring, and worse, practicing has been waiting for this perfect time for over a year now. Actually, instead of blogging, I SHOULD be down in the workshop organizing...the music store is FIN...and I will soon own all the workshop stuff...as soon as I get down there and figure how much I'm paying for it and write the check. Some very trusting people needed me to haul the stuff away quick!

Back to my inability to accomplish. I had to go to the bank today, get gas and hit the grocery store. I was so psyched that I could accomplish all of this in one parking lot. PS I even got bonus points for being able to do my banking out of the car, which was totally unexpected! Once upon a time, I hated all these chores with a passion and tried my best to procrastinate over them until I absolutely needed gas, food, or money. Envision a bedraggled, hungry Lisa, humping it to the Burger King a block away, carrying pocket change I dug out of the couch, in hopes that it would buy me enough french fries to make it to the next meal...;) If I could go back in time, I'd grab PastLisa and shake the crap out of her because getting those three chores accomplished took like 30 seconds back in the day. Naps and feedings aside, it takes FOREVER to get out the door. I get us all fed, then him dressed, me dressed, find my shoes (impossible), find his (more impossible), get my coat, his coat, oh yeah it's cold...get his hat and mittens but skip mine because the car will warm up soon enough; don't forget the diaper bag, one last trip to the bathroom at this point (the other day I had 3 of these before official leaving, it took THAT long), and finally we make it into the car...and I sigh and think to myself, I bet it's going to be time for him to eat in a few minutes and we haven't even left! Given, he has a wack job of an eating schedule right now, but I'm really tired of going through a whole process to do something, only to have to repeat that process before the thing that needed to get done was even accomplished. Phew...there is my vent. I know, I know, welcome to the land of having children...it just seems like everyone else has themselves together, and I feel like at any moment everything here is going to explode! A few of my friends are heading into 2-child land...I can't even imagine!!

So needless to say, accomplishing more of a variety of "stuff" (that is stuff beyond cooking, cleaning, and playing with the baby) is my new years resolution (which I'm ready to break as I could sit here and type entries for the rest of the afternoon!). I even went and added a new hobby to the mix, just because I didn't feel bad enough for not getting everything done for the last year. So now there is knitting...HOWEVER, it can be done late at night, on the couch, in front of the mind-melting television no problem, so this one actually has potential. If you have a cat, and I know you, you'll soon have some knit cat toys from me:) Or a cat-dog, Melissa:)

The Cuteness

I keep meaning to sit and do a bunch of big, long meaningful posts on Christmas, relatives I wish he could meet, cute things he's doing, all the cool developmental stuff going on all of a sudden, etc. However, too much wins out over sitting at the computer (to my dismay). I'd love to sit here and type all day! right now I'm caught up in last minute gift preparation. I have two I'm deep into right now...one for Abbers, the other a surprise for my Mom, and I have 2 more I want to get done for xmas (absolutely no chance of that happening). Not for lack of planning, I started all this back in Oct., they are just taking a long time. For once, I decided to be prepared for xmas...oh yeah and I decided not to make everyone something, and follow the "rules"(I heard a massive sigh of relief to all those cheesey Lisa-gifts.) So in an effort to contribute something to the Stefan file, I present this small post about our cool morning.

After we all decided that we had to get up and go to work/get on with the day, though lazing about in bed was fun, I plopped Stefan down in the living room. He headed straight for his walking toy, but instead of pulling up to walk, he tried throwing his leg over the toy, to drive it. Still not tall enough to accomplish that, but after some assistance, he was on, and we wheeled around to the kitchen. He hopped of himself (so cool since I needed time to get breakfast going), and started the crawl-a-thon, while I unloaded dishes from the washer. We played chase a little, right in between the potatoes going in the pan, before the onions were cut. Then he decided to stay in the living room where the new weeble truck kept him occupied in there for at least 10 minutes (so cool!), before he came back for a ride in the Jonny Jump-up. Breakfast finished as he spun there, happily, and he flew over to the table where he proceeded to not to eat his tomato cereal. I guess I wouldn't have wanted that slop either, but it was worth a try. So I filled his dish with puffs and cheerios and he practiced picking them out with a spoon and throwing them on the table/floor, one by one (so cool!). I was so impressed by his spoon skills...once he's actually desiring food, he'll have mastered the mechanics of getting it to his mouth! Now he sits in my office, occupying himself with the rocking bear and emptying my work bags all over the floor. At least occasionally he's getting to put stuff back "IN", though I don't hold out hope that all my accouterments will make it back into the bag.

All of this is amazingly wonderful because for the past 2 hours I've had to do nothing to entertain the baby!! He's barely whined to be held and he's just having a blast, and so am I!!

Happy Birthday, Monster!

So if I don't get lazy before the end of this post, I'll try to get some b-day pics up. There are 211 pics to sort through, not all b-day, but I'm not sure I'm doing that now. Hopefully before the end of the weekend.

It's been an interesting day. Who knew that the 1st birthday isn't special just because he's made it through a practically arbitrary amount of days, but also personally for me as well. I suppose if I didn't choose to reflect on where I was "a year ago this very hour" throughout the day, it wouldn't have been as thought provoking. I've lost touch with enough of the painful details of that whole process to want to do it again, as opposed to last year, right before this day, where I was questioning if I'd ever have another child again. The physical pain hasn't stuck, besides I know it's the worst pain I've ever felt (...OK and I know the verbal description I came up with right after, but to imagine having the same pain now, I can't quite remember it to the full extent). The amount time I spent in labor hasn't really stuck, though I can tell you the number of nights I spent in contractions, how many times I was sent home from the hospital, and how long it was before I could finally hold my little boy for the first time (about 4 hours...the last one spent hoping he'd be in my arms before all the pending visitors we due to arrive). I almost wanted to drive over to the hospital today just because that place now has a really special meaning to me. Plus I'd love to bump into the lactation consultant who was also my nurse for the whole delivery and a couple of times through my stay (I was there for 4 days, and also was the nurse I had for both the times before they sent me home). I'd love to thank her so much! I don't know if I'm being silly, or hormonal, but I really hope I get to have another baby. I want to do this all over again, knowing better what to expect, and what not to have any expectations of. I feel like there were some really annoying parts I'd like to redo, and I need a second chance to do some things I forgot the first time (have the birth plan, sit in the hot tub, and have some soft music...though I'll not get any of those as I'm looking at an C);  And I'm excited to repeat some things I liked, and meet all of it with at least a little experience. I'd like a do-over, please. Enough about me.

Today started in the usual way: babbling over breakfast. The eve of this day, Stefan started saying, "Dad." with the most clarity I've ever heard. I think I know now why they can do dad first...it's not mechanics ;)... it's just so endearing, how could a dad not want to gobble the baby up because of his cuteness after he heard that? He practiced all morning...afternoon...and evening. "Dad" in cat voice, "Dad" in Stefan monotone, "Dad" in angry voice, "Dad" in listless babble voice....etc. After breakfast, there was a dance party nap, that lasted for 15 minutes and concluded with Stefan standing at the side of his crib squeaking in cat voice.

We decided to head out instead of beating the dead nap horse and checked out the local Christmas stuff. Ultimately, we ended up at Santa's Village, where one can have pictures with Santa, see a toy work shop with Elves (I was kind of disappointed they were full sized adults working inside), visit Rudolph and the rest of the gang, sit in a stationary sleigh, and hang with some elves picnicking outside. We skipped Santa; Stefan has just gotten over going to familiar people without crying for me, it's not fair to subject him to a crazy red, bearded man, notorious for making babies cry. But he loved looking at the trains speed around the toy shop's perimeter (good thing, I hear he'll be inheriting some), and the reindeer. Rudolph was really interested in meeting him as well, but unfortunately they had a double fence up and we couldn't get too close.

We found a whole bunch of cool non-dairy treats at the grocery store and headed home. I made some more meatballs and sauce, and he had a little bit. Then, with excitement, I pulled out the ice cream...he wasn't such a fan. I'm not sure if it was the sweetness or the temperature...he had more fun feeding it to me than himself.I was a little disappointed he didn't share the same fondness for the icy treat I hold so dear!  We found new ways to walk the push toy he got for his birthday, took a rocking bear ride, and had fun playing with the singing frog/ball rolling toy (he can now do most everything on that toy made for an 18 mo!), but he was soon too tired to deal with life, and went to bed. Toss in a bit more playing, crawling, and walking around throughout the day, and there you have it: Stefan's first birthday!